We live in an age of incredible technologies that make the world vastly smaller and more interconnected. Social networking platforms such as Twitter continue to find important new roles and applications. For example, the depth of information available regarding post-election events in Iran is inextricably linked not to mainstream media or state spokespersons, but to the thousands of young people posting ’round-the-clock updates via Twitter and other online forums.

In contrast, the virtual reality of borderless, wireless and largely unregulated communications creates more and more opportunities to disconnect, disengage and avoid conflict.

Red Flags for Technology of Avoidance:

• Have you ever returned a phone call, hoping against hope that you’ll be able to just leave a message instead of actually talking to the person?

• Are you using caller ID to screen out undesired incoming calls (think mother-in-law, not just telemarketers)?

• Do you prefer to give criticism to a colleague via e-mail as opposed to face-to-face?

• Does the number of “tweets,” IMs and texts you sent last week vastly outnumber the times you had a non-virtual interaction?

• Have you ever sent an urgent e-mail and suspected that the person who said, “I never got that e-mail” was really avoiding you?

• Have you ever received a critical e-mail that was inappropriately “cc’d” to other recipients?

• Have you ever attended a meeting where people text, check e-mails and even talk on the phone instead of giving full attention to the speaker(s)?

Ironically, as technology advances, our social maneuvers to avoid direct communication— especially around conflict—become increasingly complex.

Avoidance, or “stonewalling,” as coined by marriage researcher John Gottman, is one of four toxic behaviors that show up in our relationships at home and work. In person, stonewalling can have a physicality of crossed arms, turning away, speaking very little if at all, or a fixed “stone-face” expression. But when we add technology into the mix, such clear signals are harder to trace and therefore can go undetected for longer—creating an insidious erosion to the trust in the relationship.

Still, there is a great deal that leaders can do to minimize technology-related disruptions and maximize technology-driven benefits. In Part 2 of this topic, we will offer four tips to eliminate the “Technology of Avoidance” in your organization.